It was a decision I made, in 2008. I’m not beautiful. I stopped wearing earrings, stopped spending lots of money on clothes, gradually stopped spending lots of money on my hair. Most importantly, though not immediately, I stopped caring whether people thought I was pretty or not. How did I come to that point? I guess things had been building up for a while. From going through puberty in JSS where girls in my school would get ranked by the boys in terms of beauty, leaving a trail of bruised egos and battered self esteem… …To going through SSS and watching girls struggle to work makeup magic with Vaseline and talcum powder. Seeing girls cry pitifully because their breasts were too small or because their stomachs were too big. Oh, how many girls lost their virginity to the first guy that said to them: “You’re beautiful”!?… …Then being in university, watching girls spend up to 2 hours getting dressed and made up for lectures. Watching girls buy butt and breast enlargement pills, do stomach flattening exercises everyday, cry because some guy said they were ugly… Juxtapose that with having a male best friend and a squad of male friends who were virtually untouched by these “troubles”. And of course, add my laziness (waking up 2 extra hours early to get dressed is not easy for me), my desire to be first in my class, my inability to wear high heels or breathe in tight clothing, my reluctance to spend Cedis and hours in a salon, sitting under a hair dryer… Now there are women that are (almost) universally accepted as beautiful. Off the top of my head, Beyoncé, my friend Gyamfua, Genevieve Nnaji, etc. Now take your mirror, look at yourself. Are you really there? Ok, now put away the mirror and ask 5 strangers. I see too many girls fuss unnecessarily about their appearances, when frankly, there’s not much improvement in the befores and afters, and they really shouldn’t waste their time and money. And as my Anji and I say, pick your things in life and go be excellent at them. This is why I don’t play piano; I love music, but I sucked at it and it never “clicked” with me, so I pushed it aside to concentrate on other things… Some things can be bought, including beauty, but until you’re rich enough for that, stop wasting your time and with a joyful shrug, repeat after me…. I AM NOT BEAUTIFUL, AND THAT IS OKAY. Instead, work on things you actually + foreseeably have a shot at, such as a career, or a business or an education – you know, those things where it has been proven that time + effort = success. When you’re successful, you can buy a new face, breasts, buttocks etcetera. You don’t believe me? Just ask Nicki Minaj and Kim K! Also, my new catch phrase.. “Nowhere cool”. Kelly Rowland, who I thought was perfection, got breast implants. Charley even her, she wasn’t happy with herself. I wonder if she’s okay now. I mean, there will always be a prettier face, hotter body, bigger rack… So where does it end? At some point in 2008, I said to myself “who the hell (that I actually care about) cares anyway?” I certainly didn’t! It isn’t all rosy self-acceptance, mind you. I’ve had tough moments where a cheating boyfriend caused me to want to care more about my looks… Occasionally I relapse into vanityliosis, but thankfully these have been less frequent as I’ve grown older 🙂 About guys, I guess I’ve been lucky enough to fall for guys that aren’t really into looks (MOST OF THE TIME), and thankfully everyone I’ve liked has liked me back. 😔 Well, not everyone, Johnny Depp… *sigh*
I want to be a successful architect, and help people and improve lives with my talent. I decided early on that I didn’t need to be beautiful to achieve this, and that’s okay with me. I am not beautiful, and that’s okay.